The other day I was waiting to get into a side game at the Rio, when a young man asked if he could talk to me alone. I said, "Sure," and we separated ourselves from everyone. Once we were alone he explained that a few nights ago he had
A few years ago I was playing in my favorite game, Omaha 8 or better, when the subject of weight came up. Of course when you talk about weight, you inevitably start discussing weight loss. The next thing you know four guys had made a weight loss bet. We are poker players after all. The bet was to start the next day when Reed Knafel would bring his scale down to the club. We would then all weigh ourselves minus our shoes and jackets, in just our street clothes, and our weights would be noted. Our objective was to lose 10% of our weight by the beginning of the World Series. That gave us several weeks to lose our excess weight.
To say this weight bet taught me a few lessons would be an understatement. First lesson it taught me was to never make a weight loss bet with a fat guy. It is much easier to lose 10% of 280 pounds than it is to lose 10% of 185 pounds. Another factor you have to consider is that a fat guy is used to making bets of this kind and he has much more practice than a moderately overweight guy does. So the bottom line is that me and two of the other three guys, whom I shall put in my category of moderately overweight, were in trouble. The fat guy (who really isn't fat but let's say has a tendency to balloon up) had us right where he wanted us.
The next lesson I learned was that cheaters never win. I went to 7-Eleven, bought $20 worth of quarters, and distributed them amongst my pockets barely even noticeable. Then I bought 2 gigantic diet Pepsi's, which I guzzled down. I would have bought regular Pepsi but I knew in less that an hour I would have to start losing all the extra weight from the sugar in regular Pepsi.
Now I was set. I had the quarters plus all my keys in my pockets and I was filled to the maximum with liquids. I weighed 192 pounds. I had these guys right where I wanted. I only had to lose 19 pounds from 192. My target weight was 173, so I really only had to lose 12 or so pounds.
I think the penalty imposed for not making your desired weight was to pay to the other participants $500. It was the perfect amount-not enough to hurt anyone but enough to get your attention if everyone made their weight and you didn't. Since we had several weeks to meet our goals, I didn't see any reason for starting immediately. After all I had cheated, so all I had to lose was 12 pounds and not the 19 pounds that my foes thought.
Needless to say before I knew it the day before the WSOP was upon us. Three of us moderately overweight guys settled with the "sorta" fat guy. I was about three or four pounds away so he was kind enough to settle for $200. Anyway, I couldn't have lost the weight short of cutting off a body part or something, so I was happy.
Actually it did make me lose a few pounds and it only cost me $200. We all hadn't made our weight except one guy so I didn't have to pay anyone else. The guy that made it, a very nice looking guy, looked great. He was at his desired weight and he looked terrific.
I got on the scales this morning and as usual my weight was more than I should be carrying around. I decided right then and there to go to the club and see if I could get down on a weight bet. I learned a lot from that last bet. Mainly that $20 worth of quarters is not nearly enough, and 2 large diet Pepsis isn't either. I'll look terrific at the World Series. Check me out.