A couple of years ago, I did a column in which I included quotes and
quips from many of the poker players that I know or met somewhere
along the way. After the column was published, I had several players
tell me they wished that I had asked them for one. I asked them what
their quote or quip was and sometimes, depending whether I thought it
was clever, witty or funny, wrote it down and told them, if I ever did
another column of “Quotes and Quips,” I would include theirs.
I must make one disclaimer, that being: I can’t guarantee that all the
quotes or quips are original. I Hope you will enjoy them.
Greg Raymer: As the 2005 WSOP wound down to the last couple of
events, I ran into him and asked him if there was any part, even a small
part, of him that would be glad that his reign as World Champion could
possibly be over shortly. He replied, without hesitation, very simply,
“Not really.”
Phil Quayle: “If I’m grinnin’, I'm winnin’.”
Susie Isaacs: “Play good and when all else fails … Suck out.”
Chad Brown: On conclusion of our commentary on one of the Ultimate
Poker Challenge telecasts, the director, Sam Riddle looked up at Chad
and me and said, “That was great guys, good job.” I asked Chad if Sam
was always that complimentary to him and his co-host. Chad’s reply was
“Hell, no, a lot of the time he says … ‘That really sucked.’”
Tina Sue: “Girls just wanna have funds.”
George Marlowe: When someone at the poker table questioned the
fairness of life. George’s reply, “If life were fair, horses would ride half of
the time.”
Chuck Thompson: Walking toward the door after just being knocked out
of a tournament, someone trying to needle Chuck asked, “Where you
going Chuck?” Chuck shot back in a stern voice, with no hesitation,
“Hey, I got things to do!”
Magic (who works as a floor man at the Orleans Casino): While
observing a hold’em game with several younger players and several
older players, he looked at the game and said, “The older they are the
bigger their kicker!
Brian Wilson: “I won a bracelet and now people give me guff about
wearing it. I always reply ‘when you have one, we can talk!’”
Pete Barbas: When someone asked him what the odds were of Ace-Ten
offsuit beating two Jacks. His reply, “Depends on whose got the Ace
Ten.”
Christian Voohrees: “Poker tournaments are a lottery with a positive
expectation.”
“Oklahoma” Johnny Hale: “I talk slow and write long.”
Roland Waters: “It’s unlucky to be superstitious.”
Pete Anthony: When someone stopped Pete and asked him for twenty-
dollars walking around money. Pete reached in his pocket, took out a
ten-dollar bill and said, “Here, walk slow.”
Max “the Axe” Shapiro: “You know you really sucked out to win a
tournament when the prize money is presented to you in a beautifully
gift-wrapped box.”
Tom McEvoy: "If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."
"Drink until he or she is cute."
Byron Liggett: “May all your flops be hits.”
Barbara Enright: “Be the hammer, not the nail.”
Luis Santoni: “It could always be worse.”
Frank DiElsi: “Have some patience, they’re not closing the doors
tomorrow.”
Brad Daugherty: “The cards don’t always recognize talent.”
Pat Flanagan: “Don’t risk a battleship to win a rowboat.”
Bob Craig: “The best way to win a tournament is to play every hand.”
Sunny Bredice: When asked her favorite starting hand: “Depends on
the flop.”
Denny Axel: “Always look for the silver lining. There is something good
to be said about running bad.....if you run bad long enough everybody
knows it and nobody comes up and asks if they can borrow money!"
Brandi Williams (Ulitmate Poker Challenge): “May the flop be with you.”
I have saved the best for last and, even though I normally would not
want to use such a long quote, I thought this deserved to be seen:
Steve Badger: "Fortune favors the bold. Nobody ever said fortune favors
the greedy, for good reason. World history and poker history are littered
with people who wanted everything—sometimes even when they had
almost everything. Wanting everything is the quickest way to having
nothing that I know."
For what it’s worth ...
quips from many of the poker players that I know or met somewhere
along the way. After the column was published, I had several players
tell me they wished that I had asked them for one. I asked them what
their quote or quip was and sometimes, depending whether I thought it
was clever, witty or funny, wrote it down and told them, if I ever did
another column of “Quotes and Quips,” I would include theirs.
I must make one disclaimer, that being: I can’t guarantee that all the
quotes or quips are original. I Hope you will enjoy them.
Greg Raymer: As the 2005 WSOP wound down to the last couple of
events, I ran into him and asked him if there was any part, even a small
part, of him that would be glad that his reign as World Champion could
possibly be over shortly. He replied, without hesitation, very simply,
“Not really.”
Phil Quayle: “If I’m grinnin’, I'm winnin’.”
Susie Isaacs: “Play good and when all else fails … Suck out.”
Chad Brown: On conclusion of our commentary on one of the Ultimate
Poker Challenge telecasts, the director, Sam Riddle looked up at Chad
and me and said, “That was great guys, good job.” I asked Chad if Sam
was always that complimentary to him and his co-host. Chad’s reply was
“Hell, no, a lot of the time he says … ‘That really sucked.’”
Tina Sue: “Girls just wanna have funds.”
George Marlowe: When someone at the poker table questioned the
fairness of life. George’s reply, “If life were fair, horses would ride half of
the time.”
Chuck Thompson: Walking toward the door after just being knocked out
of a tournament, someone trying to needle Chuck asked, “Where you
going Chuck?” Chuck shot back in a stern voice, with no hesitation,
“Hey, I got things to do!”
Magic (who works as a floor man at the Orleans Casino): While
observing a hold’em game with several younger players and several
older players, he looked at the game and said, “The older they are the
bigger their kicker!
Brian Wilson: “I won a bracelet and now people give me guff about
wearing it. I always reply ‘when you have one, we can talk!’”
Pete Barbas: When someone asked him what the odds were of Ace-Ten
offsuit beating two Jacks. His reply, “Depends on whose got the Ace
Ten.”
Christian Voohrees: “Poker tournaments are a lottery with a positive
expectation.”
“Oklahoma” Johnny Hale: “I talk slow and write long.”
Roland Waters: “It’s unlucky to be superstitious.”
Pete Anthony: When someone stopped Pete and asked him for twenty-
dollars walking around money. Pete reached in his pocket, took out a
ten-dollar bill and said, “Here, walk slow.”
Max “the Axe” Shapiro: “You know you really sucked out to win a
tournament when the prize money is presented to you in a beautifully
gift-wrapped box.”
Tom McEvoy: "If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."
"Drink until he or she is cute."
Byron Liggett: “May all your flops be hits.”
Barbara Enright: “Be the hammer, not the nail.”
Luis Santoni: “It could always be worse.”
Frank DiElsi: “Have some patience, they’re not closing the doors
tomorrow.”
Brad Daugherty: “The cards don’t always recognize talent.”
Pat Flanagan: “Don’t risk a battleship to win a rowboat.”
Bob Craig: “The best way to win a tournament is to play every hand.”
Sunny Bredice: When asked her favorite starting hand: “Depends on
the flop.”
Denny Axel: “Always look for the silver lining. There is something good
to be said about running bad.....if you run bad long enough everybody
knows it and nobody comes up and asks if they can borrow money!"
Brandi Williams (Ulitmate Poker Challenge): “May the flop be with you.”
I have saved the best for last and, even though I normally would not
want to use such a long quote, I thought this deserved to be seen:
Steve Badger: "Fortune favors the bold. Nobody ever said fortune favors
the greedy, for good reason. World history and poker history are littered
with people who wanted everything—sometimes even when they had
almost everything. Wanting everything is the quickest way to having
nothing that I know."
For what it’s worth ...
Quips and Quotes (Part 2)
By Vince Burgio
By Vince Burgio
